There are some very important questions that can give you a clear christian dating perspective and broaden your viewpoint on dating if you are an adult or teen who's considering dating. Or if you are a parent who\'s considering letting your teen date.

And although this article is strictly focused on love and dating advice for teens it is beneficial to people of all ages.

So I urge you to read on because I believe this understanding can help you make a more thorough choice on the matter. Since dating can sometimes be taken lightly this article offers you a serious christian dating perspective concerning the affects dating could have on anyone's life. Whether you\'re an adult or a teen.

So let's begin with the essentials. Question asking. The essentials focus on both parties. The teen and the parent. Some of the questions apply to teens and other questions apply to parents.

These questions are questions that many of us overlook and take for granted everyday. But they have such worth that they should be treasured like gold. So vital that they can often make the difference between whether your teenage son or daughter makes bad life altering mistakes or good choices.

These mistakes materialize in many different ways. To name a few: your teen does not know how to hold a meaningful relationship that is not based on sex. Your teen becomes a mother or father at an early age. Your teen becomes infected with an STD. Your teen has an abortion.

Having been a teen that fortunately avoided a life of tragedy and seeing how teens are today and thinking of my own unborn children and the consequences that they face, I see that these types of questions are not a choice but a must. Everyone suffers simply because a set of questions are not brought to the surface and the proper type of action is not taken.

Parents let their children date without knowing why they allow it. And teens date without having an important enough reason to do so.

So, I strongly urge parents and teens to sit down together and talk about dating. And most importantly I urge you to talk about the "why" behind dating.

If you are a parent of a teen who wants to date the first set of questions you should ask yourself are...

o Why should I allow my teen to date?
o What do I think my teenage daughter or son will get out of dating?

o Is what they get out of dating benign or malignant?

o Just like cancer dating is not always good...

There are many bad things about dating that are ignored by the world on a daily basis. You hear about the good results some people have but there are tons of bad results that go unmentioned by thousands of people.

And if the bad results are mentioned a lot of people do not seem to recognize that dating is part of the cause.

An established stereotypical rule that many parent\'s probably often still go by is that they will let their teens date once they reach a certain age. Once the teen reaches this age they set a curfew, they meet with the young man taking their daughter out for the night, and once they've established that he lives up to their standards they allow the two time together alone.

This all sounds very well organized. But I believe a deeper understanding behind this ritual may reveal it to be very unwise under most conditions.

What I've mentioned so far can be interpreted that parents should not trust their children. Which is not entirely true. It is a trust issue but it is not about whether you trust your children or not. It\'s about giving them privileges that they may not be capable of handling at the time.

It is a common fact that if you give someone more than what they can handle they will not handle it properly simply because it is too much or they do not know how.

And it is also about whether or not what you give them is proper in context to begin with. For example, if what you give them is wrong to begin with how can they be expected to handle it properly unless they walk away from it?

As I\'ve mentioned in my "Christian Courtship Dating" articlea-- lot of people do not date with marriage in mind. Keeping this in mind it brings up very important questions that you should ask yourself...

o Why does my teen want to date?
o What is the purpose behind my teen\'s wishes to date this specific person?

o What do they get out of dating that is so vital or essential?

An obvious reason for dating someone when you\'re a teen is that you like the person you are interested in dating, and of course there's nothing wrong with liking a person. But the importance lies with how much your teen likes this person. And in what way.

This leads to more questions...

o Does my teen like this person in a sexually immoral way?

o Or does he like her with the sincere heart of a husband to a wife?

o Does he plan to marry this person?

When you ask your teen these questions the first response might be, "No way, I'm too young to get married!" Then the next question you might want to ask yourself is, "Then why should I allow my son or daughter to date if God's purpose between a man and a woman is marriage and my teen doesn't have this in mind right now?"

An important result is finding out on what level your teen likes this person. The point is not to that they are too young to marry. It is whether or not they are interested in someone they see themselves possibly marrying when they get older. It is also about whether or not they are willing to spend time getting to know this other person the right way. And it is about whether they are sincere at heart.

So if that is not the case, you may have to ask yourself why giving them the privilege is necessary until they do develop in this area.

Most teenagers are prepared to date but they are not prepared to court...

Many teenagers will not have any intentions of marrying the person that they want to date. As we all know infatuation is easily confused for love. But on some occasions it can bloom into love. But the main thing you need to be concerned with is their intentions.

Don't allow them to do anything you do not feel they are ready for. If you are not sure, ask God to give you the answer. These choices make all of the difference concerning their future.

Just like a parent would not let a child ride a bike until they were old enough to start learning I believe dating should be seen the same way. People are better off staying out of relationships until they are spiritually old enough to handle it correctly.

Having thought about that the next question you may want to consider asking yourself is...

o What do I think dating has to offer my teen?

This may sound like a reiteration of several questions that were already brought to your attention, but it actually has a distinct difference from the previous questions.

The difference is that dating has a plural tense attached to it. It comes with the phrase "frequently."

Those who date often go through "many partners" in the process of trying to find the one that God has in store for them. My guess is this has to do with the under-developed nature of each individual to begin with. Some people simply do not want to grow before they find the special person intended for them. They lean on the fact that the special someone will solve most, if not all, of their problems.

And under these conditions a person is often desparate to mate or find love similar to how someone needs money and wants to get rich quick plays the lottery.

Under the microscrope dating is like gambling. The pretense is different but the overall reasoning has a common thread: 

o Those who date often lack trust in God's plan so they start living under their own objective.

o Those who date often keep gambling until they luck up on a winner.

o Those who date at some point or another witness a loosing streak.

Having said that you should understand what\'s at stake when you let your teen date.

Just like the lottery, thousands of people play the game of love everyday, but how many people do you know who gamble that actually win?

And how many people do you know that lose? The losers exceed the winners every time.

Do you really want your teen playing a game that so many people lose and get hurt by?

The thing about gambling is that it looks harmless at first. But those who play it already have a distorted vision and are often not ready for the rewards they reap.

To clarify, how many gamblers do you know that actually do right with their money once they've received it? They can't even do right with their money beforehand so what makes them capable afterward?

In the same respect, how many teens do you think will do right with their dating privilege once they have it?

It is not to say that teens are out to do wrong. No, I believe there are still a great many teens that seek ways to do right, they are just simply given a privilege that they do not know how to use and one that is not right to begin with.

Dating is a premature solution to what should be a long awaited outcome of courtship. A long awaited outcome of a match made by God.

It often entices people that are not ready for what they want. That cannot even offer the elements of what it takes to do things properly. In paradoxy dating often attracts those who cannot live up to the standards of what it takes to create a good relationship with a partner. It often attracts those who want a relationship but do not understand what it takes to have one.

Those who date usually are inspired to date because of fairy tale thoughts of what romance and love is. This is often the female ideal. On the other hand male ideals seem revolved around sexual advantage.

Although both parties have a small part of the picture in mind the important parts of a God-given male-female relationship or marriage are overlooked.

Dating is often the solution for those who can't relax with the idea of waiting for the right time and right stage in their life to be with that one special person.

Dating is in a constant state of hurry. It is the perfection of love-impatience. It is the perfect plan for those who are too afraid to turn their back on love or sexual pleasure and let God do the work. It is perfect for those who do not want to preoccupy themselves with anything else other than meeting their soulmate or sex partner.

And it is perfect for those who are looking for love to fix other problems in their lives by shifting the imbalance via compensation.

This of course sounds very brutal. But this is not to say loneliness and wanting to be in love are not understood. No, it is to say that God can do much better with pairing us up than we ourselves can do.

One very vital reason for letting God do the work instead of doing the work yourself is because often when we pair ourselves up the major flaws that sever a relationship are still present. Yes, the strong urge to connect and be with someone is there but so are the major dysfunctions that could disconnect and separate us from the very person we had the connection with.

Those major flaws, as well, often distort our vision and with distorted vision we mistakenly pair ourselves up with a person that was never meant for us. Or we prematurely pair ourselves up with the right person and create an unnecessary relationship-catastrophe.

Often you'll notice children and teens may ask about sex.

But what you may not notice is that they rarely ask about marriage.

I remember as a teenager I thought both sex and marriage were the same.

So an important thing you should realize is that when your child is asking you about sex, they may also be asking you about marriage without knowing it.

But whether or not they are they should not be educated about sex without the presence of marriage unless it is to give them an understanding of sex with and without marriage as a side by side comparison.

I remember being taught sex education in schools, but one important ingredient that I remember not hearing about was marriage.

So, the best thing you can do is teach your kids about marriage that involves sexual intimacy. Teach your children about marriage as the foreground with sexual intimacy as the background. Rather than the other way around.

This is very important because just about everyone learns about sex but few people understand the definition of a good marriage.

Teach your teens about courtship rather than dating and about marriage rather than sex.

Dating disassociates itself with God and lowers the standards of what it means to have a beautiful and powerful relationship with one person. Just as sex can degrade the power of a relationship with one person when used improperly.

Teens want to date because they are not educated on the beauty of its alternative. Courtship.

And teens want to abuse sexual relations because they are not educated enough on its alternative. Marriage with the benefit of making love.

Of course all teens will not choose to court or marry, but like so many of us of know, often mistakes are made because we are not educated on better alternatives.

Not all teens will choose the right path but many can be prevented from choosing the wrong one.

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Tameka Norris is the founder of Romantic Short Love Stories. Offering the best of both worlds with true stories about love, romantic fiction, love poetry, and articles on romance and relationships. Visit http://www.romantic-short-love-stories.com