Whether you call it cheating, unfaithfulness, adultery, an
affair, or marital infidelity, it causes devastating pain
and major crises in marriages.  Surprisingly, half of
marriages survive infidelity and some even get better.
Infidelity spurs 50% of couples who experience it to
reassess their marriages and make changes, often with the
help of counselors.  About 15% of wives and 25% of husbands
cheat. 

Causes of Infidelity

The causes of infidelity are numerous and can be simple or
complicated. Affairs occur in both happy and unhappy
marriages.  Usually, both spouses are responsible for the
situation.  The causes of infidelity include: a mid-life or
pre-midlife crisis, low self-esteem, lack of love and
attention given to a spouse, anger, boredom, marrying too
young, peer pressure, the existence of an opportunity,
disappointment in the marriage, sex addiction, as a way to
leave the marriage, and even family expectations!

Types of Affairs

Sometimes adultery is due to an addiction to sex or romance.
A new relationship provides passion, excitement, danger,
sexual highs, romance, and either greater self-esteem or
shame.

Some affairs are due to men who believe that extramarital
relationships are something they are entitled to by gender.
There is little or no guilt felt by these husbands and their
birth families sometimes condone their behavior.  There may
be peer pressure as well.

Other unfaithful spouses are driven by mid-life crisis
(i.e.; fear of aging), anger toward the spouse for real or
imagined wrongs, boredom, or disappointment in the marriage
or the problems of living.  These affairs often happen only
if an opportunity presents itself.

The newest type of infidelity is one in which the
participants weren’t searching for an affair, but got
involved in a friendship at work or on the Internet that
turned into an affair.  This type of relationship includes
emotional intimacy, secrecy and lying, and sexual feelings
and actions.  There may be peer (societal) pressure to
participate in this type of affair as well.

The most serious type of affair is the one in which a
married partner falls in love with someone outside the
marriage, either unwittingly or as an excuse for leaving.
This type of infidelity causes the most destruction of
marriages.

Consequences of Infidelity

The consequences of infidelity include: divorce, depression,
loss of trust, persistent anxiety, and an overwhelming
feeling of loss.  Many innocent spouses experience symptoms
similar to post-traumatic stress disorder.  Consequences of
infidelity may also encompass obsessive thoughts about the
details of the infidelity, suspiciously watching for
indications of infidelity, “fight or flight” symptoms, anger
and accusations, and flashbacks.

Results of Infidelity

After infidelity occurs, the partners must decide whether to
save the marriage or separate and divorce.  Each spouse may
want a different outcome.  Counselors and psychologists will
work with couples to assist them in making a decision and
implementing it.  Negative emotions and symptoms must be
addressed and a “safety zone” established.  An atmosphere of
honesty must be established with the spouse, while all
contact with the partner in the affair must be stopped.  The
story of the affair must be told and its impact on the
marriage addressed.  Planning for the future of the marriage
leads to healing, and, hopefully, forgiveness.  Failing
that, a divorce will take place.

If a marriage survives infidelity, it will become stronger
and centered on the couple, not just on children; the
dangers and temptations of infidelity are understood and
addressed in order to avoid it; and the couple develops
trust, renewed commitment, and shared responsibility for the
ongoing success of the marriage.

If you suspect infidelity in your relationship, you can
discover the secrets over 25,768 other people have used to
quickly find out the truth about what their partner has been
doing behind their back at http://www.catchacheat.com