1. Start by losing the losers

As hard as it might be if you're single and you don't want to be "alone," if you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren't right for you.

2. OK, available now? Next... are you "ready?"

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, employment, family, children, ex, health, emotional, etc. Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list your top five requirements

"Requirements" are your non-negotiable deal-breakers. What you must have or must not have in a relationship for it to work for you.  Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn't meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let's get crystal clear about this "dating" thing

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

     Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc) 

     Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

     Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

     Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)
That's it... nothing more, nothing less. No "trial relationships," no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don't do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you're looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company... your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Take initiative and go after what you really want and don't simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you'll get less. Ask for what you want and say "No" to what you don't want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you're single

When you're single and you'd rather be in a relationship, this seems counter-intuitive. However, "If you build it, they will come" (from the movie "Field of Dreams").

Finding the love of your life in today's world is a combination of working on yourself to attract and keep the person you want to spend your life with, and getting into action with good judgment and clear strategies for success.

Best wishes in your journey to find the love of your life and the life that you love.

David Steele, MA, LMFT is founder of Relationship Coaching Institute, the first and largest relationship coach training organization in the world. He is author of the new ground-breaking book for singles Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World. http://www.consciousdating.com/book.htm